The Opiate of the Classless
For those of you who, without the benefit of sniffing butane, look at the Fishheads logo and see a parody of the
Christian fish symbol, we would like to point out some obvious differences between the two:
e Good will toward others (at least other Christians) 0 Yeah, right.
o Inspired the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Jim Jones * Angered the John Birch Society and parents'
cult, and Pat Robertson organizations
9 Banned by the Communist regime in the former 0 Banned by Waldenbooks and the Red Key
U.S.S.R. Tavem
* Head honcho died on a cross, then came back to 0 Head honchos brain dead from watching
life and ascended to heaven televised motocross at 4 a.m.
o Rumors of a second coming 0 Already on volume 3
o Supportive in times of difficulty, provides 0 Magazine can be used to wipe up the mess
moral guidance after an all-night binge
9 Miracles of bread and fishes, walking on water, 0 Have so far avoided a lawsuit
healing the sick, raising the dead, giving sight to
the blind
o Bible - The word of God 0 Fishheads - Has words of Bob
e "Jesus wept" 0 Mick whines
0 1 billion practicing Christians 9 50 dazed subscribers so far
o Ten Commandments # One commandment: "No chicks with boils"
0 Hordes of devout priests, nuns, monks, bishops, etc. * At least we've never fondled an altar boy
o Solemn ceremonies such as Mass, Baptism, and 0 Fishheads editorial brewfest (urp!)
Confirmation
o Stigmata a Papercuts
* Translated into many languages 0 Loosely based on the English language
* Immaculate Conception 0 Infantile Regression
